November 2021 THURSTON COUNTY IANDS Newsletter


                                                            MAKING CONNECTIONS 

Thanksgiving greetings to all TC IANDS “pilgrims!”

I don’t think I’ve ever “in-joyed” autumn more than this past month.  The brilliant colors, the rustling of leaves, the stirring wind, the glistening mornings.  It’s very invigorating and makes me feel like all of us souls—living, dying and deceased—are swirling around each other.  I love it!

November is a time to pause and recall those we know and love, who have passed from this earthly place to beyond.  Yet, they remain connected to us.  Especially during this very unique pandemic time, people are finding new ways to address the adjustments that come with the departure of a loved one.  For generations, we’ve learned to look at grief as painful and heartbreaking.  The reality is, that death (and loss) is a transitional time, just as are birth, marriage, graduations, new jobs etc.  It invites creative new possibilities for all involved...Space for grace.

Maybe we need to exchange the word “grief” for something better, like “adjustment”, “moving forward,” or “new connection.”  Those who have had Near Death Experiences have shared many times, what an energizing life lies ahead for us.  This can be quite a reassurance for those left behind after a loved one has died.  But what has also been said is, there are new ways to keep a relationship ongoing.  Bruce Greyson, PMAtwater, Dr. Al Botkins and many other researchers can add credibility to this.  So can caregivers, spouses, parents and children when they report, with joy and certainty, that they have had a visit or a “hello” from a departed loved one.  

A loving touch, the scent of a perfume or aroma, a bed being bumped in the night, a familiar chuckle, a serendipitous melody...the list can go one and on.  This is how “grief” becomes transformed and creative.  If we pay attention to these moments, we can build on them.  We can add our own helloes to our beloveds’ by acknowledging what we’ve noticed, by visiting special places, completing a meaningful project, trying something new with your loved one in mind.  It’s a new way of communicating and connecting.  I’ll admit, it takes some practice; but as you move forward with your own life, bringing your special someone along in your heart and in your thoughts, they become alive in a new way—and so do you!

Looking at grief in a positive way allows for growth, freedom and opens up new possibilities.  I’m not sure the mainstream churches have been able to embrace this new concept of grief relief; but perhaps they will in time.  Meanwhile, I hope you will find understanding and kindred spirits as you get to know various Near Death Experiencers (NDEs) and Sudden Transformative Experiencers (STEs) like those in Thurston County IANDS.  

Good news and more good news about our TC IANDS gatherings!  I’m going through cold turkey (excuse the pun), not being able to be with everyone at the Lacey Library; so anyone who would like to attend a TC small group in my home on Monday, November 15th, from 1:00 to 3:00, just email me for directions.  We won’t have an individual presenter, but will have a round robin kind of session, just catching up with each other.  We’ll share questions and experiences that come to mind.

The other good news is we will actually be able to meet in the Lacey Library, like the good ol’ days, on January 10th, from 1:00 to 3:30.  We’ll have a very special guest speaker—Donna Seebo!  As an extra treat,  Gretchen Christopher will kick off our gathering with songs she composed and recorded that are just right for us.  I’ll let you know more in the December 2021 TC IANDS newsletter.  As always, there’s more to be revealed!

Suggested reading: IADC: Induced After Death Communication, by Al Botkins,; After, by Bruce Greyson;  scriptural writing’s of Paul (New Testament); The Grief Recovery Handbook, by John W. James and Russell Friedman.  Also, you might want to check out Donna Seebo’s website: and Gretchen Christianson’s songs at (just in time for the holidays).